For starters, let's agree that we can disagree about what 'success' is. It certainly means different things to different people. For one person, 'success' may pop up pictures of a sports car, a yacht, a new house, maybe a business of your own, or a white collar, management career with a solid company, or all those things. For somebody else, just the thought of having to put on business attire and go to an office every day is frightening. For others, the emphasis may be on family, not money. So there's no point in trying to force any one idea of success onto you.
However, we may be able to agree more easily on the opposites of success, on what we do not want our lives to become. For example, consider these items:
- Not having enough money to pay debts
- Living payday to payday
- No money to save, invest, or buy a house
- Frustration at seeing others get ahead faster than you do
- Stuck in a dead-end job
- Passed over for promotions
- Lack of job security
- Embarrassment about your job
- Worry about the future in general
- Desire to do better but not sure what to do, or what steps to take
- Lack of education or know-how about computers or other 'technology' that may be coming into your workplace
Do ANY of these apply to you? Chances are, at least several do, just as they do to millions of others, especially men and women in the 19 to 30 age group. In fact, most people go through their entire adult lives never solving any of these issues. They get stuck just 'going with the flow.'
What we'd like to do here, in the beginning of this book, is to challenge you to take a completely fresh look at where you are, where you COULD go in life, where you'd LIKE to go in life, and how you can take control of that process.
The only constant in life is change'
Change is constant. Your physical body changes on a minute by minute, day by day, month by month, year by year basis. You know that you can exert considerable control over that, by smoking or not smoking, exercising or not exercising, the foods you eat, and so on. Some people choose to do certain things deliberately, to control their weight, get and stay fit, and stay healthy. Others do not. But everybody changes physically.
Change happens in every other aspect of living too, for everybody; marriage, divorce, kids, get a job, lose a job, buy a home, move, get older, learn something new, education etc. The list of changes is endless. You just cannot escape constant change. But you can make it work for you or let it work against you.
We have the power of choice. The ability to make choices and decisions. Will you use your power or ignore it? Perhaps it may be time to STOP 'going with the flow.'
'Who me? Control my future! How?'
Maybe you feel that you do not have the ability or opportunity to control your life and your future. These days, it seems everybody is a 'victim', and in some circles, it's even popular to be 'anti-achievement'. You will undoubtedly hear people insisting that the cards are stacked against them to such a degree there's no point in trying to do anything. Or that 'society' owes them a job or a certain standard of living. Only you can decide whether such attitudes are right for you. It's important to remember, though, that every aspect of life operates on cause and effect - for every effect, result or outcome, there is a cause. 'Victim' thinking or 'it's no use' thinking becomes a cause in and of itself. What kind of effect do you think it has to have?
You may very well have some disadvantages to overcome. Maybe you grew up in a broken home or a terrible neighbourhood. Maybe you were abused. Maybe you don't have a high school education. Or maybe you don't read very well, can't do maths, you're shy, whatever. Each person's obstacles appear very large to him.
But here are two absolutely inarguable truths:
First, regardless of what your particular obstacles may be, there are many people who have had those exact same obstacles - or worse ones - who have overcome those obstacles to become successful in life. The fact that others have overcome the same obstacles you have is proof that you can too.
Second, if you continue to do the things you've always done, you can only expect to get what you've always got. Whatever change happens, it will work against you. Opportunities will pass you by. Only by first changing your own actions and behaviour can you create other desirable changes in your life.
So, let's talk about some of the very basic, fundamental things you can do to go after the kind of success in life you want and how you can go about getting it. We call these:
The five essential foundations of success in life.
'If you don't know where you want to go, any road will take you there.'
Foundation No. 1: Positive Directions
What does that mean? Well, 'direction' means where you are headed, where you are going, where you want to go. Most people spend more time planning a weekend activity with friends or a vacation than they do planning their futures! In fact, most people never really think about 'directions' at all. One writer in the field of self-improvement once spent a whole morning on a busy city sidewalk, stopping people on their way to work, and asking them why they were going to work. Why are you going to work today? The answers he heard most were:
- To put food on the table
- To pay my debts
- Because I have to
- Everybody else does
These are all terrible reasons for going to work! Why terrible? Well, if one of the above is your only reason, how are you going to feel about your job and yourself after ten years of that? Twenty years? Thirty years? Probably pretty awful. You'll feel trapped, bored, wasted, or stuck in a rut
- and the only difference between a rut and a grave is the rut is open at both ends!
Actually, work should be a means of accomplishing many appealing and rewarding goals. Buying your own house and decorating and furnishing it, or raising a family and helping your kids achieve higher education. Pursuing some hobby or interest of yours without limitation - re-building classic cars, fishing in the great rivers and lakes of the world, developing a career and so the list goes on. These are all 'directions.'
'Positive directions' means choosing directions that are most likely to lead you to the kind of lifestyle you want.
Just for example, one direction you could take is spending all your free time hanging out at the local club, watching sports, playing billiards or snooker, and spending all your money that way. That is a 'direction.' It is going to take you toward a destination. It is a 'cause' that will have a predictable 'effect.'
Or, taking two nights a week of your 'free time' and using those to go to night school or seminars or the library to learn some new skill and setting aside even a small amount of money each payday, this too is a 'direction'. Which is 'positive' and which is 'negative'? Which is most likely to lead 'somewhere', which is most likely to lead 'nowhere'? Well, you certainly know that without being told! But what you may not have given a lot of thought to is the idea of sitting down and choosing certain 'destinations', things you want to accomplish, things you want to have, and then deciding on certain positive directions most likely to lead there. You can do that. Regardless of where you are right now, you can start doing this.
At the end of this Chapter, you'll find some pages headlined 'Brainstorming your future.' You might copy them onto bigger pieces of paper, on a pad or a notebook, or use them as is and write in the book. Either way, try something: lock out the world, get into a quiet, private place for an hour or so, no distractions, no TV, no CD player, just you and those pages. Put your pencil or pen in hand. Let your mind engage. Then, without being critical... without worrying about the 'how to's'... note down the answers to the questions. Make the lists. You may find this to be a very exciting and challenging experience.
There is a direct link between education and income, and education and opportunity. You cannot beat this system.
Foundation No. 2: Education
Certain things are 'facts of life'. The law of gravity, for example, is a fact of life. Any object you drop out of your hand will fall to the ground. What goes up must come down. You are actually a tiny bit shorter at the end of the day than you are each morning, after lying flat all night, as an effect of the law of gravity. There is absolutely nothing you can do to change this fact of life. The richest men and women in the world cannot escape this fact of life, even the most talented athletes cannot escape it.
Well, there are certain facts of life relating to education that are just as 'always true' as is gravity. You may not like these facts of life, but you are affected by them nonetheless. You can ignore them and you will suffer as a result. Or you can accept them and then change directions and do things to make these facts of life benefit you.
Here are the facts:
Fact No. 1
Government studies, census data, and statistics clearly demonstrate that people who have finished secondary school earn much more per year than do people who have not. Over a 40 year working career, this may equal enough to pay off a house mortgage, or enough to put into an investment and retire. Also, the number of good jobs that you just cannot get without completing secondary school keeps increasing.
Fact No. 2
Above a high school education, career training and work experience are known to make a big difference to income over a person's working career.
Fact No. 3
Above that, tertiary qualifications and other university level studies can increase income even more.
To make this simple: More education equals more income and more varied career opportunities.
'If a man empties his wallet into his head, no one can take it from him.' - Benjamin Franklin
It is difficult to soar like an eagle if you hang out with the chickens all the time
Foundation No. 3: Association
There is a principle of success called 'the power of positive association'. It basically means that you either hold yourself back or improve yourself based on the people you spend the most time with, because their values, ideas and directions are always influencing your own.
Another proven fact of life is that a strong and stable family environment is an advantage. If you happen to have a good relationship with your parents or parent, brothers, sisters, and children, and your family life has included helpful values, then you do have an advantage, there's no doubt about that - and you should value it and continue it. If you do not have this advantage, you will have to work harder on your own thinking, your own values and your own decisions.
As we become adults, though, 'peers' become just as important as 'family' in this area of association. Surely you've heard about 'peer pressure'. It can be 'positive' or 'negative' - helpful in going in the directions you want to go or distracting from going in those directions. Here are some very tough questions to ask yourself about the friends and other people you spend most of your time with: Are these people going in the directions I want to go? Do they have ideas, experience and encouragement to share that can help me move in the directions I want to go?
If you can't honestly answer 'yes' to those questions, then you probably need to make some changes - who you spend time with, who you listen to. You may need to get involved in very different activities, where you will get to meet new and different people.
Everybody needs a 'support group'. Your 'support group' can include family members, friends, neighbours, coworkers, a mentor on the job, teachers and coaches. It must feature people who share your directions or who have already travelled successfully in the directions you want to go.
You cannot score a goal sitting on the bench. You have to get in the game!
Foundation No. 4: Beginning
There is a certain process to success, an order of steps you have to go through, and to begin, you have to get into the game. How do you get into the 'game of success'?
'Begin somewhere. You cannot build a reputation on what you intend to do'.
It all seems to start with gainful employment. A job. Even if it is not the job you want. Not the job you've prepared for. Not a job that seems like it naturally points toward the kind of job you want. Any job is better than no job. Employment is better than unemployment. The way you get into the game is with a job.
When you go and apply for a 'better job', what will you be asked about? Well, one set of questions will centre around your education. The next set of questions will centre around your work experience. Most smart employers will be as interested in how you performed the job as what tasks you performed in the job.
A study of business managers, executives and other employers revealed this list of basic on-the-job behavioural characteristics they looked for in any and every job applicant were:
- Showing up
- Showing up on time
- Showing up ready and able to work
Well, any job gives you the opportunity to demonstrate these three things, and establish a reputation for these three things. If you are currently gainfully employed, don't make the mistake of drifting into negative thinking about that job... of just going through the motions or worse, failing to show up. Show up on time, show up ready and able to work. The best way to get a better job is to out-perform the one you have! If you are not now employed, re-think your position on this. Maybe it would be better to get in the game with any job than to sit on the sidelines waiting for the right job.
Foundation No. 5: Lifelong Learning
Many people have the idea that once they finish secondary school, they can 'stop learning'. No more school books. No more study. This is reflected in the fact that the majority of adults get all their news and information from radio or television (not reading), that the majority of adults never visit the public library, and about half of all adults never go into a bookshop. Unfortunately, many people have learnt how to be taught, but have not learnt to enjoy learning on their own.
In contrast, successful people are usually involved in 'lifelong learning'. They tend to choose a subject, learn a lot about it, then choose another one and do the same, one after another. They tend to continually read and improve in their own career area.
If you haven't visited a public library in a while, and you do so with an open, curious mind, you may be very pleasantly surprised at everything that is available for you there - all free of charge! You will find magazines, both current and back issues. Books on many topics. There may be easy-to-use computers you can work with to help in assembling information about any topic. There may be books to help you in choosing careers, preparing resumes, getting ready for job interviews, learning certain skills, even managing your money. And the library staff are usually very eager to help and very patient with newcomers. This is a great environment for you to get comfortable with and use frequently as an adult.
Life long learning is the only sure way to improve your knowledge and skills, so that you can achieve success.
Brainstorming your future
Describe your life as you would like it to be three to five years from today, by category.
- Career and work
- Income and finances
- Personal and family relationships
List five things you definitely want to change about your life in the next three years.